Am I late with resolutions?

With today, it is exactly 17 days since I had nice home cooked meal. Making coffee is all what I do behind the stove. Considering the fact I enjoy cooking so much.. I shall honor myself to the pat I so deserve.

About time I gave back and made a change. So from now I am not only going to be cooking and eating regular but also cook something new and different every week. It is an earnest promise. And please do ask me on Mondays how did I fare with my bargain.

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Currently I have imparted my reading to some deliberate neglect. So that makes an allowance for not rating so highly in books section too.

Whatever ..I picked up The Selfish Gene yesterday for the second time. Just to reread a couple of things.

What is all so wrong being selfish? As a close parallel to genes, we are selfish too. Each one of us is selfish, which I guess is the good part. Perhaps that is the prime truth. I find it hard to believe in selflessness if something in those terms exists. But with selfishness people are rarely (hardly ever) considerate towards others, which I guess is the bad part. Is it?

Let’s have none

On the heels of yesterday’s news, I am not grieved or upset. I feel strange. My emotional slate is wiped clean. Deprived of a response. It is unfamiliar.

So this post might probably be nothing more than a dull sigh. Sigh!

Somehow the year beginning is so gloomy. It is like the initial months are jinxed to be dispiriting. Not sure if this is any recent acquired/yet unaware superstitious thing in me but I can’t seem to quite the small inner voice laying in wait for some mental distress. And the last two years stand to support my theory, superstitious or not. This year hasn’t been awe-inspiring either so far.

Yesterday my roomie told me, I am one untroubled person she has met. Words certainly fail me if I am asked to explain. It felt incredibly good though.

In future I should bear in mind to always plan my vacation or go home after Christmas.

little update

Counter to my reckon, yesterday turned out to be a very pleasing day with interesting company and 4 hours of chatty talk.

Everyone called. Surprising. Surprising not because they did that seldom (though I am speaking to two of them after 19 months) but I have grown out of expecting anything. Weird me. Perhaps some cosmic conspiracy which furtively read my wish to have everything back as it once was.

So here.. lots of hugs your way for making my day perfect. Umma. What else is love..

And a big thank you for whatever up there which brought it about.

For now have a pleasant weekend you all.

Another beginning

As is his wont with year end, Appa asked me my perception about 2009 yesterday. Here let me sneak my-year-in-review.

Revisiting the last 52 weeks,

• work wise everything was good. Even if a pay hike would have been very much alluring, serves to say everything was more than good.
• moving into an independent apartment was a significant transition (yes I am not enthusiastic about relocation). It was rather a new start with house huunntting, moovving, fiixxing, furrnniishing.
• read a decent number of books and only hope the count keeps mounting instead the opposite way.
• was a year devoted to movies/talks/documentaries particularly the latter half. Cinema saw a lot of me and popcorn. It shall this year too.
• visited Spain and much of north-east Germany. 2010 could definitely see an upswing with traveling.
• was in summer I got my diving license. I feel proud and fascinating. It will be a long wait till summer when I will dive again.
• other interesting thing is learning salsa. I wish to accommodate some more this year.
• met lot of wonderful people and with them the valuable friendships.
• as to emotional face, I had a fair share with being hurt and disappointed (to a good extent), angry and disgusted (surprisingly to a lesser extent).
• wasn’t keeping to a very sound health in my opinion.
• on the personal face, made the best out of my single years. Had been more outgoing and social. Now the dreaded ‘M’ word pops up everywhere.

It is another beginning ..of happiness, of hope, of learning, of love, of friends. Wish you an eventful 2010!

Loose change

With my trip made and gone, it is more relaxed now.

What a hard-pressed 3 weeks it had been.. likewise a very good one! There is a wall of activities if I get down to relate. I was one perplexed ball concerning life (and everything in those lines) for the last few days. I still am but relaxed-ly perplexed. Could it possibly be this restless as I think it to be?

I was rather eager to come back. Work definitely isn’t the decoy to lure me back. Oddly, it warmed me enormously to see my manager awaiting me today. And being greeted by your project manager has its plus and minus.

The good part, it did douse the feeling your-absence-makes-no-difference-to-anyone. The bad part, having presented the work package for the next 2 months. Pleasingly being told that I am completely booked for the on coming weeks.

Now rethink Paris and skiing!

In all it is nice to pick up everything as I left here. Also the mail from a long (1 month 2 weeks 5 days) lost friend brightened me up. Did I miss talking to you? No I didn’t.

So let the brightened me take leave for today. Enjoy your evening.

Fall is here!

It is clearly getting colder. Munich already feels like sweaters and tights.

I believe Autumn is Europe’s most cherished season. Mine too. I am not a fan of the incoming winter but I love fall. Fall is absolutely gorgeous. It brings the radiant red and golden in everything and the air smells burning leaves.

Nature is amazing considering the way it manipulates my disposition. It is pudding and cakes now. And dampfnudel. Time for candles and Halloween. All the same with Halloween it is officially winter. Again the good part is, it is such a great time for reading (I am a winter-house-worm) and drinking gluhwein. Ok my disposition is a lot towards food.

All of you reading this, do let me know what are the things fall brings back to your mind.

Almost everyone is going to the mountains now. I am having such a tough luck with my plan of spending a weekend camping in a mountain cottage. In two weeks I am going home and when I come back perhaps it is going to be too late to make a trip. This time again I will push it to next year.

Anyway have a great autumn time everyone!

Now that is a question

So many things that I nearly blogged if not for my tardiness. Apart from work and the constant social activities I have had so little time to blog, which is also true to an ample extent.

But truly, I am ever hoping to be regular here ..and failing miserably. You see I am once again in my cribbing mood today. Whatever it is an easy start if nothing else…

Work is very good, if I overlook the endless meetings I have to attend daily. With all my colleagues on vacation, there isn’t much interesting to do anyway. At the least I am sparing my colleagues all the discussions when they return.

Life wise.. everyone grows up with the idea of what one wants to become in his/her life. To me it seems I have only started thinking. Seeing my friends, most of them are already settled and their futures spelled out. And I am still clueless about how am I going to go with life. I am compelled to rethink what I really want?

Honestly, considering just a fraction of the things on my mind… I sound so absurd-minded. Certainly, it would be nice to have a plan that doesn’t have me floundering around clueless. But not having one doesn’t bother me as well. I am reasonably, actually more than reasonably happy with everything and the way it is, whatever it is.

Conceding to discretion, I deliberately avoid writing so many things. I slowly drop out of the scene when it comes to discussing self. Now don’t judge me to be constrained. Well in effect I am. But I wish I could give others a piece of my mind and make them follow too. Every time I start explaining things it all comes out the wrong way. I can’t pronounce them wrong. So much is going on if I want to talk I am going to have to forgo trying to make them understand. I neither have the interest nor the spirit.

To favor I am travelling in no sloppy straight line. I don’t know what would everything be like 1 year from now ..2 yrs from now, no idea again. Though 50 yrs down the lane [living or not] I know I will be a very successful [in every defined sense of life] and content old lady.

I have the slightest idea how much sense I make. Among other things, I definitely don’t enjoy writing so-thick-posts with my clumsy attempts to explain. I thought I should today.